I wanted to share something.

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HunterOfEvil

I wanted to share something.

Post#1 » 11 Mar 2018 03:51

I have a friend with a rough past so I decided to share his story, in the form of a poem.

https://thehunterofevil.deviantart.com/ ... -734903849
I am not brave, I am only just, for fear knows no man's name better than the one called "fearless", but there is no fear in love.

Hunt evil, Kill beasts, Slay darkness, and SURVIVE!

Deviant Art: http://thehunterofevil.deviantart.com/

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Obiwanabi

I wanted to share something.

Post#2 » 11 Mar 2018 03:59

Fascinating. What is the significance of "breath"? Does it translate into any medical issues, or does it simply represent the narrator calming themselves down to some degree?
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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HunterOfEvil

I wanted to share something.

Post#3 » 11 Mar 2018 04:08

Its a little bit of both. The rhythm is actually the way lifeguards (at least at my school) are trained to count time when giving rescue breaths. "One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand, one, breathe. One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand, two, breathe."
The last bit is the way you count when giving CPR. "One and two and three and four and--"
I thought of it because I'm training to be a lifeguard, and my friend is terrified of water.
I am not brave, I am only just, for fear knows no man's name better than the one called "fearless", but there is no fear in love.

Hunt evil, Kill beasts, Slay darkness, and SURVIVE!

Deviant Art: http://thehunterofevil.deviantart.com/

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Obiwanabi

I wanted to share something.

Post#4 » 11 Mar 2018 04:41

Impressive! I would've never seen a correlation between the two things had I not been told. I think it's incorporation is quite clever. I hope the best for your friend, though I would assume from the ending that he's on the right track. Overall however, I think it's a pretty good poem.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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smartdevon
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I wanted to share something.

Post#5 » 11 Mar 2018 06:01

I agree with obi, the way you formatted it was genius. This poem heavily relies on its rhythm. I suggest you make it into a video. itd be a great video.
Im a writer, and game designer. Follow me on twitter for tweets that have nothing to do with either of those (@ThurgoodDevon): https://twitter.com/ThurgoodDevon?s=09

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HunterOfEvil

I wanted to share something.

Post#6 » 11 Mar 2018 14:21

smartdevon wrote:Qr Bbpost I agree with obi, the way you formatted it was genius. This poem heavily relies on its rhythm. I suggest you make it into a video. itd be a great video.


I thought about that, and I just might. Thanks guys!
I am not brave, I am only just, for fear knows no man's name better than the one called "fearless", but there is no fear in love.

Hunt evil, Kill beasts, Slay darkness, and SURVIVE!

Deviant Art: http://thehunterofevil.deviantart.com/

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Obiwanabi

Re: I wanted to share something.

Post#7 » 15 Mar 2018 12:42

Anytime you want something reviewed or looked at by a third party, don't hesitate to ask us. Third parties can be very useful in regard to editing a piece of writing.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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