Character Creation and Critique

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smartdevon
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Character Creation and Critique

Post#1 » 18 Apr 2017 01:33

Hey, this is a thread I've been meaning to make for a while now, it's where we can present character's we've thought of and have people critique them in order to make them as good as they can be. Here's a few Ideas on what to look out for when offering advice for improving people's characters.

Believable-
Let's make this clear, a believable character does not mean a realistic character. A character is believable when they have depth to them and their actions make sense. Is your character super evil just because? that's not very believable. is your character going down a dark path because they believe it's the right thing to do? that's more believable.

Originality-
Is the character a spiky haired swordsman named Clouse Strike? try and help each other find ways to make characters unique.

Creativity-
Even normal human characters are fun to play as if you use a little creativity. perhaps the character has an odd quirk? something that really sets them apart from other similar characters? Wyatt the normal human programmer may sound boring, but what if Wyatt the normal human programmer is super chill and has abnormally calm nerves? even in the face of something extrodinary? what if Wyatt the normal human programmer has a habit for pickpocketing and larceny?

Balance-
Nobody's perfect. A good character will have strengths and weaknesses. Im not just talking about fighting. They Character flaws add a lot more depth to a character, and make them more beleivable.

So basically, post ideas for characters you have. make up a description and try to include lots of imformation. If you see someone else's character and think you can help them make it better, give them advice on what can be improved! Characters you post don't even have to be some you're using in a roleplay. they can just be ideas.
Im a writer, and game designer. Follow me on twitter for tweets that have nothing to do with either of those (@ThurgoodDevon): https://twitter.com/ThurgoodDevon?s=09

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HunterOfEvil
Posts: 2404

Character Creation and Critique

Post#2 » 18 Apr 2017 02:03

I may or may not create an app and then throw a bunch of ideas here for anyone to use as they so please. Dont be surprise if you get an onslaught of characters with a cardboard sign that says "Take One".
I am not brave, I am only just, for fear knows no man's name better than the one called "fearless", but there is no fear in love.

Hunt evil, Kill beasts, Slay darkness, and SURVIVE!

Deviant Art: http://thehunterofevil.deviantart.com/

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smartdevon
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Character Creation and Critique

Post#3 » 18 Apr 2017 02:10

Haha, bot a bad idea. In the mean time...

Name: Terrace Crow
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Description: Terrace is world famous right now but for all the wrong reasons. Terrace is a jewel theif. Whenever Terrace completes a theft he always leaves behind his calling card. he's also a really good dancer.
Personality: Terrace is quite the flirt. Despite this he doesn't want to get too attached to anyone due to his... risky occupation. Terrace seeks not riches but fame, and what better way to achieve it than playing the role of the villain. Terrace follows his own morals, and has never killed a man in his life.
Talents/notable abilities: Lock-picking, slight of hand, acrobatics, physics, geometry, acting, and theft. He also knows fencing but does not own a sword.
Strengths: Stealth, Acrobatics, and his unrivaled genius, (he was an ace student. He's excellent at fibding out of the box solutions and thinking through situations)
Weaknesses: Terrace does not have muscle, and does not know any martial arts. In hand to hand combat Terrace will lose.
Backstory: Terrace was studying Law in college but was expelled from his university for Larceny. When this happened he decided he may as well turn his 'hobby' into a career. Terrace's parents raised him better than this. Terrace has already apologized to his mother for what he's become but has made no effort to start leading an honest life.
Appearance: terrace has medium length brown hair in a pompedor and flat brown eyes that stare daggers.. He has a thin face and long nose, and a clean shave. He dresses like any self respecting jewel and art theif should in expensive clothes.
Fatal Flaw: Terrace doesn't have too much self control, and is easily tempted. This is what led him to his life of theivery.

I know this character can be improved upon. Hit me with all your criticism and ideas.
Last edited by smartdevon on 18 Apr 2017 02:28, edited 1 time in total.
Im a writer, and game designer. Follow me on twitter for tweets that have nothing to do with either of those (@ThurgoodDevon): https://twitter.com/ThurgoodDevon?s=09

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HunterOfEvil
Posts: 2404

Character Creation and Critique

Post#4 » 18 Apr 2017 02:22

1) He should be older. Mid 20s at least.
2) little more detailed physical description
3) how good is his genius?

The character as a whole, i r8 7.5/10 m8
I am not brave, I am only just, for fear knows no man's name better than the one called "fearless", but there is no fear in love.

Hunt evil, Kill beasts, Slay darkness, and SURVIVE!

Deviant Art: http://thehunterofevil.deviantart.com/

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smartdevon
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Character Creation and Critique

Post#5 » 18 Apr 2017 02:29

Thanks for the suggestions. I edited the character accordingly.
Im a writer, and game designer. Follow me on twitter for tweets that have nothing to do with either of those (@ThurgoodDevon): https://twitter.com/ThurgoodDevon?s=09

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laixlegoman
Posts: 964

Character Creation and Critique

Post#6 » 18 Apr 2017 02:53

Are you able to provide criticism when it comes to rp itself?
(self proclaimed) master of causing unexpected circumstances.

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Probored
Posts: 281

Character Creation and Critique

Post#7 » 18 Apr 2017 04:22

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=289

If possible, anyone want to critique this character?

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smartdevon
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Character Creation and Critique

Post#8 » 18 Apr 2017 10:01

laixlegoman wrote:Are you able to provide criticism when it comes to rp itself?

I dunno, you do you i guess.

Probored wrote:http://havenstation.nogbox.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=289

If possible, anyone want to critique this character?

I really like that one. Addiction makes her really unique. Thing is you didn't mention much about her asidde from her wealth and addiction so we don't really know anything else about her. Who else is she?
Im a writer, and game designer. Follow me on twitter for tweets that have nothing to do with either of those (@ThurgoodDevon): https://twitter.com/ThurgoodDevon?s=09

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NitroMiyaz
Posts: 317

Character Creation and Critique

Post#9 » 20 Apr 2017 08:12

Imma steal your app for a sec Devon. :P

Name: Nariko Lexiss
Age: 18
Personality: A very quiet and calm girl by nature, Nariko loves being outside no matter the weather, and is always happy with doing even the simplest of things. She despises the thinking of people who look down on others or underestimate the value of life.
Backstory: Nariko was born disabled due to a rare and incurable disease that weakens the bones. For most of her life, the hospital bed was the only place she had known. If not for her family's wealth, she probably would have died years ago. Being able to leave the room only through the powers of the internet, Nariko decided that she no longer wanted to hear and see the outside world, but experience it for herself. Since the age of 10, Nariko dedicated what little bit of her life she had to learning mathematics, physics, and the laws of the universe. The results were astounding. She excelled at a rapid pace, understanding even college level calculus at the age of 12. Though unable to barely lift her arm without help, her mind was that of a gifted genius. Utilizing her parents' money, she began experimenting and developing devices that could one day potentially allow her to walk, run, and do things she only ever dreamed of. By 14, she was already at the level of the smartest geniuses in the world. At 15, she finally developed a highly intelligent flying AI contraption (Think a Jarvis system in cute flying machine form). The two of them began development of a suit that would allow Nariko to walk, run, and do more than even a regular human wouldn't be able to do. Thus, at the age of 17, the exoskeleton "Second Life" was created.
Fears: Nariko fears being helpless, trying her utmost to prove her worth and doing what she can for others. What she fears more than anything is losing her machinations and ability to move.
Love: (who or what does your character love?) Nariko loves the suit she created, that gave her a new chance at life. She also loves her cute intelligent AI buddy.
Strengths and abilities:
Second Life: An exoskeleton that can't be seen with clothes on. It supports the bones and allows her to move with ease and without pain.
Majenta: A magenta colored flying AI contraption loyal to its creator, Nariko. It is capable of hacking into the strongest of firewalls, scrolling the internet, and calculating even the most complex of equations. Majenta is also a grandmaster at chess.
Second Life (True Form): The true form of "Second Life" is a mecha suit inspired by various manga and anime. It is 8 ft tall from bottom to top, and just looks plain awesome. It is capable of firing lasers and missiles, has a built in lock-on mechanism, can fly, and is fully decked out in machine gun turrets.
Eightfold Mech Wings: Small sword-like machinations that can detach from the true form of "Second Life". Each wing has built-in machine guns and a laser.
Weaknesses:
Without her suit, Nariko is rendered unable to even stand up. Her "Second Life" battle suit has a passive shield system that keeps her from taking damage, but the amount of damage it can take is represented as a life gauge on her system screen. When the life gauge reaches zero, her suit will begin taking damage. If fully destroyed, she will lose all mobility rendering Nariko completely helpless.
Appearance:
"Second Life" (True Form):
Image
Except with long white hair and yellow eyes.
Hobbies: programming, engineering, hacking, and playing internet games.

This is one of my old characters I've made two years ago. She is actually one of my favorites. What do you guys think?
Last edited by NitroMiyaz on 20 Apr 2017 18:16, edited 1 time in total.
I am the third generation Nitro. Nitro III, to be exact. :ugeek: Personality type: INFP-A

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smartdevon
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Character Creation and Critique

Post#10 » 20 Apr 2017 12:33

I really like your character's backstory nitro. It provides a great basis for your character's personality and makes her personality beleivable. One thing that I noticed though is that while you said she excelled in academic learning, its unclear why or how she was able to learn so quickly. Yeah she had lots of time being in the hosptial all the time, but there has to be soem other factor in play if she's the smartest in the world at 14.
Im a writer, and game designer. Follow me on twitter for tweets that have nothing to do with either of those (@ThurgoodDevon): https://twitter.com/ThurgoodDevon?s=09

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